Eternal and Unforgettable
by KissMeJamesYouGotItBlondie
Summary: Connor and Jenny reminice about how Nick Cutter changed their lives...    Summaries crap! Stories better!
1. Chapter 1

Jenny felt her eyes burn as she looked around at Nick's old office. It was the only place she could feel him anymore. She looked at the destroyed model and sighed. No-one would be able to re-build this.

Not Connor, who had been so close to the professor. Not Sarah, who had done so much of the work with him. Not Jenny, who had been the only one to break through the barrier he had erected around his soul when Helen had left him, when Helen had broken him.

He had become a man again, when he met Jenny, when they had laughed and spoken, when they had talked and argued. When they had progressed in their relationships. Associates, Collegues, Friends, more...

But there was nothing left now, it was Nick's funeral today, and he would be burned. No-one was sure what they would do with the ashes.

It was going to be a quiet ceremony, Cutter had no family left. Jenny, Connor and Abby, Sarah and Becker, Lester and the ARC troops were the only guests, and the Priest who would perform the cermony. The priest who would say the words Jenny knew would have been more than enough for the professors, words that he would have found amusing.

Jenny sighed again and stepped under the barrier crossing the room off the actual ARC. It was like passing into a different world, like an Anomaly...or what she assumed an Anomaly would be like. She had never had the courage to step into the otherworlds, it was too terrifying for her to even contemplate. She didn't want to see what the earth had once been, didn't want to see the beauty that mankind had destroyed. Didn't want to see Helen's point of view...

She stepped over the destroyed remains of the Model and sat on the dusty, ashy floor. She pulled up her legs, which were enfolded in black tights, and rested her chin on her knee's. Her black skirt spread out around her. She wore her hair down, straight, because she knew that Nick always preferred it down. Her face was bare of make-up except Lipstick and a tiny bit of Mascara, because she Knew Nick always preferred her natural.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, thinking of the last time she'd seen Nick in this exact place.

_"Wow, please tell me this all means something!"_

She smiled as she remembered herself saying those words. Nick had turned and looked at her, his eyes lighting up, as she walked in, then he turned away and she blushed.

_"This, is a model of every Anomaly in history!" _

Connor had said, souning exceptionally pleased with their work.

_"Call me stupid but couldn't we have done this all on a computer?"_

_"This way its more...tangible!"_ Nick had said, his eyes on the wire that he was fixing in place.

_"Makes him feel more like god, you knoe, with the whole creation thing!"_

Jenny laughed at the fond memory. It was one that she was going to keep in her mind forever, it was a special part of her now. It wasn't strange or unusual in anyway, but it was special! It was special because it was during one of the few times when the team had been lose and able to laugh. Well, there were more of those times before Steven's death, but Nick had been...getting over that?

No, she supposed, he had just been getting used to it. Nick would never had gotten over the death of his oldest friend, as Jenny would never get over the death of Nick. He would always be a part of her, always belong in her mind and her heart.

Forever.

She opened her eyes again, as they began to leak, and blinked so that the tears ran down her face. She placed a thumb beneath each eye and drew them swiftly sideways, making sure she didn't smudge her mascara. She put her head to her knees, hiding her face, and felt her hair fall over her ears, hiding her completely.

Sucking in a deep breath, she stood up. She smothed down the skirt of her dress, which swayed around her legs, and adjusted the smal buckle of her heel. She turned towards the door and saw standing there, Connor.

"Hi..." She said, startled, and she looked hurriedly away. "How long were you standing there?"

"Long enough," He said, avoiding her gaze and walking forwards, "I used to stay back...every night after his death, looking over and over his work, staring at the artifact, trying to fix the matrix!" He said, stopping in front of her and looking into her eyes.

"I couldn't work any of it out! Because I'm not him!" Connor said, his eyes gleming with moisture. Jenny felt a sudden rush of affection for Connor and pulled him into a hug. He responded, wrapping his arms around her and beginning to shake in her arms.

"Connor..." She soothed, feeling maternal. She held him closer and his sobs began to subside. When Connor was crying, Jenny felt stronger. There was only enough room for one team member to faal apart at once, so while Connor was falling apart, Jenny had to stay strong, had to comfort the man she had grown so close to, after the death of the man she had been falling for...so hard!

"Connor," Jenny said, when he had finally stopped sobbing, she released him from her arms and rested her hand son his shoulders, "Connor, listen to me, no-one will be able to replace Cutter...I can't do it, as Team Leader! It will never be my team, and I don't want it to be! It will always be Nick's team! I would never want that to change!"

Connor nodded.

"He was just so...Cutter!" Jenny laughed at Connor's description and nodded.

"Yeah, he was exccentric and smart, funny and completely infuriating, Handsome and sexy!" Connor smiled at her, a knowing smile.

"He meant alot to you..." He said, quietly and Jenny nodded once more.

"And you!" She said, hugging him once more.

"Yeah, he meant alot to everyone!" Jenny said, simply, and Connor began to sob into her shoulder all over again. She felt her eyes burn, and allowed her tears to flow.


	2. Chapter 2

Jenny walked beside Connor, clutching his hand. Connor wound his other hand around Abby's waiste and Sarah was clutching Jenny's other hand. She needed the support right now. Becker cluched Sarah's free hand. They were walking towards the doors of the church.

When they got inside, they saw that his coffin was open. He was beautiful in death, Jenny thought, Like an angel, his strawberry blond hair surrounding his pale face, the stubble on his face was slightly longer than when Jenny had last seen him. When he had been carried from the ARC by Connor. When he had sat with him...watched him breathe his last breath!

She reached out a tentative, cautious hand and streached towards him. If she could just touch him, feel his warmth beneath her fingers, just for a moment, she would know that she could carry on. That she could be strong for his...for their team. That she could lead them, as he had, and that one day, she would be alright!

When she touched his hand, it was cold.

Jenny gasped and choked and she began to cry, loudly. Connor once again held her to him, mumbling to the others about giving her some air. He led her outside, her crying into his shoulder the whole way.

They sat down on a white marble bench around the back of the church, which looked out onto the graveyard. It wasn't a very pleasent sight. Jenny stared out into the graveyard, shaking uncontrollably as tears cascaded down her face. She took the tissue that Connor offered without so much as a glance in his diretion or a thank you passed his way.

"It was horrible!" She said, eventually, "To see him...but be unable to hear his voice, or feel his breath! He was ice cold!"

She heard Connor draw a rattling, skeletal breath and closed her eyes.

"I tell myself its a dream! That I'll see him again...that one day, I'll walk into the ARC and he'll be there, smiling and making sarcastic comments to get up Lesters nose! I tell myself that it never really happened, that Helen didn't murder him! Seeing him in there...touching his hand, it was all too much for me! It was too cold, and I didn't want to believe it...that was proof, and now I have no choice!" She said, a harsh, cold laugh putting a dramatic stop to her sentence.

Connor looked over at her.

"Yeah," He said, "Me too! I used to think that if I could only close my eyes, dream it all away...it would get better!"

"It was my fualt...you know!" Jenny said, nodding, and Connor's head snapped round at her.

"No...Jenny..." He said, and she shook her head, turning slowly and looking at him, an unforgiving smile on her lips, "Jenny, you can't blame yourself!" He whispered but Jenny just smiled again.

"I should have stopped him from going back into the building! I should have showed him...what would have been waiting, had he come back, maybe then-he wouldn't have left!" She said, choking on the last word.

"He would have gone anyway! He was a good man! He believed that even an evil demonic witch like Helen deserved better than that...too bad she wasn't of the same opinion!" He said it so carelessly that it made Jenny's heart bleed. She dropped her head into her hands.

"Oh, Connor, what are we going to do?" She said, the desperation in her voice clear. Connor looked at her, his eyes blank.

"I don't know, Jen," He said, hopelessly, "I really don't know!"

Jenny looked up at him, smiling sadly. At that moment, Sarah came round the corner, wiping her eyes, her cheeks red.

"Guys," She said in a thick voice that told everything, "The ceremonies about to start!"

* * *

The voice of the Priest passed over Jenny's ears like it wasn't even there. She paid no attention to his droning voice, and only stared at Nick's face. They were sitting in the pews, Abby crying into Connors shoulder, Sarah clutching at Beckers hand, squeezing everytime a fresh bout of grief hit her.

Jenny cried silently, the only man she would have liked to have holding her was the one she was crying for!

When the Priest was finished, Nick was put on the surface and slid, gently into the flames that licked the side of his mahogony coffin. Jenny watched, and as she did so, a thought occured to her and she smiled, ruefully to herself.

It was perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

Connor smiled as Jenny walked in front of him, clutching a small, wooden urn. She held it close to her heart and walked surely towards the anomaly. Connor held Abby's hand behind her and Sarah and Becker were beside them.

It was a small but powerful gesture that Jenny was first and Connor knew it meant a lot to her and that she appreciated it. She stopped just before the anomaly and the others mirrored her. Connor saw her hand twitch and stepped forwards, taking it.

"It will be OK, Jenny!" He said, smiling reassuringly at her and she nodded, and stepped through.

It was beautiful on the other side. A mountain in the distance, they stood on a sandy hill and could see a herd of Scutosaurus at the bottom. Jenny turned to Connor who smiled, gently at her again.

"It was the first Anomaly he went through, it really affected him!" Connor said, turning on the spot to look around.

"I can see why!" Jenny said to herself, looking at the floor. Nick had stood here? It was an emotional feeling and she had to raise her head, turning it to the sky, trying to stop the tears from spilling over. She lifted a thumb to her eyes and wiped, gently, careful not to smudge her mascara. She smoothed down the black skirt.

Taking a deep breath, she called the others to her and held out the urn. They all looked at eachother, unsure of what to so, so Jenny lifted the lid and tipped it.

The ashes flew into the gently breeze that caught it, and Jenny watched as they flew. Then she handed the urn to Connor and he tipped it, more ashes. They passed it on, like a strangely emotional game of pass the parcel and Jenny smiled when Abby tipped the last of the ashes and replaced the lid on the Urn. She looked at it for a while, then passed it back to Jenny, who took it with trembling hands. They all stared around them for a long while and Jenny felt the wind whip around them.

It was him, she knew it. He was with them. He always would be.

As the others turned to leave, turned back to the anomaly, Sarah caught Jenny's hand and held it for a moment. Jenny turned to look at her and saw that Sarah's eyes were sparkling with moisture. She felt tears rise in her own eyes and spill over. She pulled her hand from Sarahs and turned towards the peek of the hill. She stepped forwards and looked over the edge.

Lifting her head to the wind, she closed her eyes, breathing deeply.

She could hear the others behind her, but she didn't care. She opened her eyes, her mouth curling into a gently smile.

Then she turned and walked away...


End file.
